EditoralsApril 24, 2018

story image illustation

I've been asked, numerously and recently, to blog a bit about philosophical and political matters having nothing to do with Electric Vehicles and Solar Energy. I confess I don't know quite what that's about, but it appears that some of my asides on EVTV cause curiosity regarding my "beliefs" and how they came about more generally.

I often do share some of these with close intimates but generally prefer to be pleasant and tell a lot of jokes because it puts people more at ease and I get along better socially. Trust me, to know me is not to particularly like me. And I can provide references.

I regularly hear and have heard from a young age that I am very smart. I never know how to take that, or what they think it means. Suffice it to say that I don't view smart the way most people apparently do. It is not of any particular advantage in my estimation, it is vastly overrated in our society, it is mostly a parlor trick, and I'm really quite confident that when you say it and I hear it there are two different things going on in the conversation, neither of which have much to do with each other.

In commenting on YOUR apparent belief systems there, I would refer you to Albert Einstein, who serves as the rather universal syntactical iconic symbol of "smart" when he says that "Every man is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, you are likely to be disappointed." Gifts of birth are much more various and complicated than I perceive as the common view.

In MY belief system, there was a mixup at the distribution center and I was sent to the wrong freaking planet. Life on MY world is very different I can assure you. But the powers that be are loathe to admit mistake. And their response was a grudging acknowledgement that I had been lucky in guessing correctly, but that I was kind of stuck with it this trip and would have to live out my life on earth. They would note it and try to do better next pass. Oh well.

So my estimation of my own mental acuity is vastly different and more humble than you can imagine. But my estimation of yours is even more humble than you might perhaps hope. I think I'm quite ordinary. You all are really "special" as in "special needs people." My ego, from your perspective, would appear to have no end in sight. A legend in my own mind.

I only acknowledge all this in that you kind of have to see WHAT I see for anything else to make sense. Almost everything I've been told since cognizance as a Toddler I've been able to sort out to my own satisfaction as hopelessly confused, erroneous, and generally to comic extreme. Not just "off" or with the odd error, but hopelessly dicked up beyond all recognition. Some basic arithmetic works and the alphabet, sort of self justified, works if you accept it as is and don't peer to closely into its use. Past that, nonsentient and irrationally insane. On my world this would get you 24 hour medical and adult supervision. Almost everything you believe or at least claim to believe. About 90% of the time I am almost CERTAIN you know better and are just jacking me off to humor yourselves. Or maybe you all are really brilliant and I am blissfully and moronically unaware of something really big.

So let's look at an example. Currently our land is about to break into civil war over race. The "great one" who was supposed to bring us all together finally and at last instead has brought us to the precipice of mutual genocide based on "race".

I am an aging fat white guy raised in fly over country with the other deplorables in a very race conscious rural area of Southeast Missouri. I talk and sound like a cracker and I confess I am almost abusively unsympathetic to the entire black African-American/Negro/Colored People/ whatever they want to be called this morning thing. Oh, yes, I do have an affinity for the feral black children raising themselves on the streets here in the south end of town where I live, but that's because their miserable drug infested parents have largely abandoned them and they really have no one else to care for them. I don't really "care" but they are here, and I am here, and they just seem to have a hard time of it without meriting such abuse. So a Dr. Pepper and bag of Fritos and a kind word is little enough to offer.

So it will surprise some that my first wife of 19 years was a beautiful Philipina from Catmon Bagu Cebu. And my second wife of 22 years is a proud African American from the mission district in San Francisco. The second being sufficiently an upgrade from the first that I can't wait to meet Mrs. number three. And all of that is not precisely because they obsequiously serve me mint julips on the antebellum porch of an evening. Though truth to tell, either probably would if I really wanted one.

Even the first one.

Even now.

Just great people both times. Physically gorgeous to the point of driving me wild with desire - both times. I have been truly blessed with regards to relationships, to the point that it must be some sort of cosmic and underserved joke to make some point that I don't quite get yet. But I'll take it where I can get it and we'll all have a good laugh after they explain it to me.

So what with the race thing. From my point of view, and as I say, I do better keeping these things to myself, EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW ABOUT RACE IS COMICALLY AND TRAGICALLY FUCKED UP. And the errors are not errors. They are cosmic level blunders.

Some are small. Some large. The Republican Party is not "racist" and the Democratic Party is not black. Historically, the Republican party was founded in Minnesota with one purpose, end slavery in America. And the deep south slave holders were Democrats. And they hated the Republicans sufficiently to assassinate President Lincoln. Lyndon Johnson created the Democratic black voting block very deliberately and as a very manipulative ploy to take advantage of them assuring his Democrat colleagues that if they joined him they would "have those niggers voting Democrat for the next 200 years." He did it not with equality, but with government money - a war on poverty that essentially destroyed black families across the land.

But all of that is historical trivia really not part of the experience of any whites or blacks in America today and not particularly close to anything I believe.

I have serious problems with the basic CONCEPT of race as you know and believe it. This is based on three basic premises that I just can't believe anyone is unaware of and doesn't fully realize.

1. The cruelty of the binary numbering system.

2. The universal propensity of all of us to lie to our children.

3. The very obvious exigencies of the combination of DNA material to produce humanoids.

BINARY NUMBERS

Why binary numbers? Well it is pretty hard to argue that we each of us had TWO parents. I know in America today about 51% of you will realize we did and 49% of you will believe that this is fake news and an alt-fact. But trust me on this one. TWO parents.

And indeed if those two parents hadn't shown up at precisely the correct moment and performed precisely the same and mutual disgusting act, we as individuals go POOF and are gone. WORSE, we could be our sister. YOUR biological existence depends on that crucial moment in time and that critical exchange of body fluids. I can prove it.

In an act of perfect symmetry, it is further beyond argument that EACH of your parents had precisely TWO parents of their own. Same is true for each of them. And so extending that to your point of view, we actually have SIX people who all had to show up at the crucial but various moments in time to perform their role or again - you look a lot like your sister or brother or worse, never happened at all.

To extend this absurd reasoning, I will further stretch you a bit in that each of your four grandparents had two parents. Rendering eight great grandparents. All required. All necessary. And so 16 before them, and 32 before that, and 64, and 128, and 256, and 512, 1024, 2048, and on and on and on. This is just as obvious as the fact that each and every one had a nose. Or started with one.

If you can't follow this, leave this page now. We just can't have this conversation.

If you can, let's assume it takes about 20 years to be born, grow up enough to dress yourself, find a mate, and show up for your OWN little moment of ecstasy so the next generation has something to live for. And so with five "generations" per century, how long does it take before the number in the SINGLE most senior generation becomes slightly larger than the then population of the earth???/ Adam and Eve.

Do the math. I KNOW you can do it. And if you go over 500 years, leave this page now. We can't have this conversation.

Going forward is even worse. You see, you are hardwired LIMITED to 2 parents, but the two parents don't have ANY limits on offspring. They could have two. They could have 20. And indeed do pretty much within those end points. But some have none. And a few have even more than 20.

My father had eight brothers and sisters - a sibling group of nine. They all had kids. Their kids had kids. And so there are easily four generations of my fathers sibling group and probably five now as my father and ALL his brothers and sisters are now dead. All of these people could not be seated in a Boeing 747- there just aren't that many seats on the plane. All are first cousins and then slightly removed. But I would probably recognize, including my own siblings and their children, less than 25 of them out of context.

In other words, I could get on that 747 in San Francisco, and fly non-stop to New York City, and get off the plane and get in a cab, completely oblivious to the fact that I was on an aircraft full of my own people. In that large a group, it is possible I wouldn't actually encounter my own children on that flight except by a fluke of seating chart.

We are all really really interconnected in ways we are entirely oblivious to, and not over millenia, but over decades. In this churning roiling stew of biomass, we really ARE all brothers in ways that apparently escape almost all of you. Or perhaps I have something wrong.

OUR PROPENSITY TO LIE TO OUR CHILDREN.

Actually this is not precisely a propensity. It appears to be some sort of biological imperative. It is UNIVERSAL not exceptional and YOU WILL PARTICIPATE if you have children, trust me.

Here's a funny story popular in my area of the country for obvious reasons given our close geographic propensity to Arkansas. Young lady comes home from her day at high school all excited and giggly. "What's up?" asks her father. "I met a boy at school. We are in love. I finally have a steady boyfriend."

"What's his name?"

"Johnny Foxmueller"

Father frowns and ahems ahahs for a few minutes. "Well you can't date that boy."

"Why not?"

"Never mind you just can't see him. Stay away from him."

"You can't tell me to stay away from my boyfriend pop, and not even give a reason!" huffed the daughter.

"Ok. Ok. But you have to promise me you won't breathe a word of this to your mother..."

"Well ok. I promise."

"That boy is your half-brother. I'm his father too."

"You can't be serious..."

"God is my witness. No doubt about it. It just is what it is daughter. Sorry."

The young girl cried her eyes out for a day. But finally went to school and broke it to her mystified boyfriend that they couldn't see other anymore. No matter how he pleaded she would not reveal why. Time went on and fortunately time wounds all heals and she met another young gentleman and as these things do happen for the better, she liked him better than the first one. So she returned home and proudly announced to her father that she had run the first one off and had her a brand new beau."

"What's his name?"

"Randol Hardy." she announced quite proudly.

"Ahem...ah...whoo.. daughter I am REALLY sorry but you can't date him either...."

"You have GOT to be kidding!" she wailed.

"Nope. Sorry hon. Same problem..." He sheepishly found he needed to be down at the local tavern at that hour and departed in some haste.

Her mother came in and found her bawling on the couch in such distress she was inconsolable. "Whatever is the matter dear?" her mother exclaimed.

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"I promised Dad..."

"Honey you can tell me ANYTHING. We're both women. He's just a stupid man. Promises to men don't mean anything atall. There, there. You just tell mom what's got you all crossed up."

"Well I got a boyfriend. And Dad said I couldn't date him because he's my half brother. And so I got ANOTHER and he tells me HE's my half brother too. The randy old goat. I'll never find ANYBODY I can date in this town apparently."

"There there dear." her mother laughed. "Things are not quite as bad as they seem. I can tell you with absolute authority that you can feel free to date ANY boy you like in THIS town. And you won't be related to any of them. But not a word to your father..."

This is of course a joke. But is it really. My first cousin Steve Rickard was out for a 15 mile bicycle ride, and being 69 years old and safety conscious he wore kneepads and elbow pads and safety helmet and goggles the whole delightful ride. But he stopped in at his neighbors, 150 feet from his house for a chat on his return. And he took off his helmet and his gloves and hung them on the handlebars of the bicycle while they chatted and yucked it up. Finally he said he HAD to get home and shower for an evening event and pushed off on his bicycle for the 150 foot ride.

The neighbors dog got all excited and jumped right into the spokes of the front wheel and Steve threw on the brakes, pitched head over the handlebars and crashed to the sidewalk helmetless head first. He was in a coma for a week and then unfortunately succumbed.

After the funeral we had dinner with his only child, a son. He told us a remarkable tale. He is a Hollywood TV producer in California but he had received a call from a man in Virginia claiming to be his BROTHER. As he was well aware that he was an only child he told the man he must be mistaken and hung up. But at with his father's death he related the story to his mother and was astounded when she broke down in teares admitting it was true.

It seems that Steve and his wife had dated in college and decided they really didn't like each other very much. But she was pregnant and put the child up for adoption which was common in those days. They graduated college and went on their separate ways for several years but then met in a coffee shop and thoroughly enjoyed discussing the times they had in college. They started dating and eventually married. He was their result a year later. But they didn't really think it was prudent to tell him about his older brother and there never was really a good time to do so - until his father's death.

The son eventually met with his brother and sure enough, he was a Rickard all the way through. And a striking resemblance to his father.

EVERY TIME I TELL either of these stories, to anyone anywhere, the response is always the same. "You know, funny you should mention that. In my family we had one even better than THAT....."

And so it goes. If YOU have children, you know what I'm talking about. There are just some things about your early history and sexual misadventures that they will NEVER know if you have anything to say about it.

There are no exceptions.

We ALL lie to our children. And the lies become cummulative over the generations.

More innocently, the family tails that were passed down to through the generations to you, may or may not be generally true. But with each generation, technically they are HALF true for you. So the story of the German farmer great great grandfather, MAY have actually been true. But for your grandfather, that is half of his genetic story. For your father 1/4. For you, 1/8th. And so it goes. IN THEORY.

In reality, we used to talk about 256 thousand roughly chromosome pairs. Turns out to be more like 59 million base pairs. Some genetic material from your mother. Some from your father. But there is no 50%. It's not half from your mother and half from your father. It might be anything but it is statistically almost impossible for it to be exactly half. You might have 1% from your mother and 99% from your father. Or the other way around. Or anything in between. This is why you and your brother or sister look so different, act so different, and have led such different lives. The fact is this involves millions of base pairs. And results in trillions of trillions of combinations. Every human that has ever lived has been truly truly unique. Identical twins PERHAPS excepted.

DNA TESTING.

My proudly if not militantly black brother in-law is a bright guy. But he recently had one of the DNA tests and was alarmed and disappointed in the results. It turns out it revealed he was indeed 30% Nigerian.... and 27% British.

Unfortunately, even that was a problem. As it adds up to 57% and the remaining 43% was listed as a heroic mix of almost everything else. Yes, he's black..."ISH"...but not really BLACK black. More like Eskimo Sumo wrestler English Irish German Swedish Mideastern Armenian Black. Not as much Chinese as he might have made us of at University. But enough Korean to be annoying and slightly threatening.

So my wife assumes the same applies to her and wants to take the test as well. So how do explain to her that she's about HALF a humanoid. What? Well men carry an X chromosome and a Y chromosome. Wonen only carry the X chromosome and so genetically they are only half human. And so she must rely on her BROTHER's test to get any info at all. Actually there IS mitochondrial test for the X chromosome, but it only records the data mother to mother excluding all data from any of the fathers.

There are "markers" or genetic traits that have been mapped more or less successfully to certain humanoid groups and we have historical migration data that allows the projection of kind of a pseudo profile. This is what they are selling online as genetic "testing". The concept is more or less preposterous as it is impossible to determine the specific mix in any one generation never mind the combinations going intergenerationally. But by noting the markers, they can relate this little story to the uninitiated. More prehensile sentients would recognize this as nonsense of the most scurrilous sort. But not entirely so. It at least illustrates or implies the complexity of the situation.

And so the concepts of race in America are hopelessly confused, historically nonsensical, and indeed the nature of humanoids is such that EVERYTHING I HAVE HEARD since birth regarding the topic is nonsense. And I'm left in the untenable position that almost everything I know about it is probably wrong, and there is a LOT I don't know about it, but what you all are talking about is so comically nonsensical I'm not going to learn much about it from YOU. And so generally why have the conversation at all? You're going to like "splain" it to me?

You aren't who you think you are. You are not WHAT you think you are. What you think happened to you never did. What you think happened to your parents never did. And what they told you about it is almost certainly a lie. But that's ok because they may not be your parents at all.

And worse all THAT is basically untrue as well. You see, what you THINK you are, basically BECOMES what you are, just not for the reasons you think. Ergo my frustration, fascination, and deeply rooted disgust. You people are HOPELESS. And if they knew about you on my planet, they would find it HILARIOUS.

But since I'm stuck here with you. It's mostly sad.

Here's what I THINK I have worked out over 62 years.

1. You are EACH totally unique and incredibly POWERFUL spirits of a reach and power over quantum matter/energy/reality you simply cannot imagine.

2. You each have been awarded a very special set of very powerful GIFTS- traits and strengths and powers UNIQUE to you and you alone.

3. You have each ALSO been awarded a very special set of handicaps and challenges and hurdles unique to you and you alone.

4. From birth, you face a grand and fabulous adventure.

But unfortunately, the vast majority of you will make little of it because you are absolutely PARALYSED by fear. Fear of hunger, fear of cold, fear of heat, fear of thirst, fear of rejection, and most of all fear of death. Which is odd because none of you have truly experienced any of that and with good reason. You can't. But you CAN fear it anyway and you are really really good at it.

BE NOT AFRAID.

I hope this clarifies, by way of example, why we talk about batteries, motors, chargers, sunlight, alternate energy, ways to improve life for humanoids on this planet, and the odd stock tip. There is much more of me and what I believe you simply don't want to know and you would be truly offended by, to no particular good point. And certainly to no good reason for me. I can tell a few jokes. Talk cogently about technology. Etc. But what I THINK I know about almost everything more transcendant, you would no doubt find offensive and not particularly useful. I am certain of almost nothing, but at a very different level and for very different reasons. We just don't have much to talk about there. And I love each of you and do not want to offend anyone at all.

Jack Rickard

Story Tags